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Legal Asylum A Comedy Paul Goldstein 9781634256117 Books



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Dean Elspeth Flowers will let nothing--nothing--stand in the way of plans to catapult her backwater state law school into the U.S. News & World Report Top 5. But tensions between the school's warring factions--the Quants, Poets and Bog Dwellers--imperil her plans. So, too, in this rollicking satire do the errant pursuits of her faculty and the maneuverings of a mail room clerk with a business plan of his own to radically transform the school.

The arrival of an outside committee to conduct the law school's required seven-year accreditation review threatens to expose the school's deepest secrets and forces the dean to confront her own darkest demons. A romp through the legal academy,
Legal Asylum asks the hardest question facing higher education in America today Can a school make it into the exalted realm of the U.S. News Top 5 and lose its accreditation, all in the same year?

Legal Asylum A Comedy Paul Goldstein 9781634256117 Books

This novel is a somewhat rollicking satire of how law schools try to secure a high place in the famous (or infamous) yearly rankings published by U.S. News. Despite mountains of criticism heaped on the rankings by law faculties and administrations, every year the release of these rankings is treated as being equivalent to Moses returning from the Mount with his stone tablets. The plot here involves an off-balanced dean at a state law school determined to manipulate the U.S. News criteria (published on the internet) so that her school will make it into the holy "top five" rankings. She is quite inventive and prepared to do about anything to add to her school's chances.

The author, a novelist and professor at Stanford Law School, obviously knows of what he writes her. Anyone who has gone to law school or even thought about it will find the book hilarious--I have seldom had so many belly laughs in reading a book. However, like most good satires, the author is using humor to convey important messages about law schools, their curriculum, and what benefits students, as well as taking some funny potshots at the U.S. News ranking process. As it happens, the ABA is also conducting an accreditation review at the school, so the author can let fly with a few arrows at that process as well.

Among the important issues raised in the novel is the question of what should be taught at law schools. Judge Richard Posner has been quite critical of the books published and courses offered in legal education for being too divergent from the real practice of law. In this book, the faculty is divided into three categories: "poets" who focus on philosophical and literary topics; "quants" who are embedded in quantitative analysis; and "bog dwellers" who are unimaginative and teach the basic courses in torts, contracts, con law, etc. These categories are not far fetched, believe me.

A continuing major issue is how can law schools realistically be compared? Does it involve comparing LSAT scores, numbers of books, post-graduation job success, faculty resources, bar passage rates, or what? The ABA professional criteria share somewhat the same problem, but the author points out that its criteria do not much overlap with the U.S. News version, which tells you something. Equally important, how valid is any comparison given the extensive experience of the schools in manipulating the criteria through various inappropriate techniques, such as bribing students to elect their schools to improve their ranking scores?

However, I don't mean to suggest that this isn't just a great satiric novel, full of fun and vinegar. The reader will never view the U.S. News rankings the same way after reading this book. My only complaint is that the author enjoys his humor too much, and carries on a bit longer than is necessary (the book runs 284 pages). This is one of those rare books you can really enjoy--and learn something at the same time. Well done, Professor!

Product details

  • Hardcover 285 pages
  • Publisher Ankerwycke (February 1, 2017)
  • Language English
  • ISBN-10 1634256115

Read Legal Asylum A Comedy Paul Goldstein 9781634256117  Books

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Legal Asylum A Comedy Paul Goldstein 9781634256117 Books Reviews


An excellent comedy, and aptly titled for its subject matter (though it wasn't until near the end that the title had more...concrete significance). The characters are well-developed and complex, which is due in large part to the deeply personal (and sometimes relatable) remarks from character to reader. For the legally trained, it contains more than a few easter egg reminders of the joys of law school, and many of its horrors as well (among those I would place a character who teaches a class entitled The Bluebook Advanced Topics). But this book is not just for lawyers and law students. Many have heard of the U.S. News rankings, and those who have attended college or graduate school have likely given some (if not definitive) consideration to the same. If so, this comedy is for you, especially if you are about to commit to a law (or any) school based on these rankings. You will appreciate the comedic aspects of the process. Though, like me, you might have trouble separating comedy from reality.
My dad, an attorney, wrote the following review ...

I have read all five novels written by Paul Goldstein. Each is a wholly different treasure which miraculously flowed from Goldstein's fertile, albeit twisted, mind.

His latest tour de force is Legal Asylum which is helpfully subtitled -- A Comedy. The book explains the efforts by an obscure State law school to move from near the bottom of the U.S. News & World Report rankings to the top five. It also details how the school, which is on the brink of de-accreditation, tries to escape this imminent calamity.

I particularly appreciated following how the Dean uses her considerable charms to help move her school forward. While she works with various school employees, alumni, and politicians, her mail clerk proves once again that starting at the absolute bottom is the most direct route to success.
This book is a total delight in every regard. From the opening paragraph we are treated to exquisite prose and skillful character development. This hysterical satire exposes an insider's view of the modern legal industrial complex. There is even a flavorful dash of geopolitical absurdity to add to the enjoyment . Turning pages as fast as I could , I was held up only by frequent gut wrenching laughter.
High minded comedy at it's finest . I'm ready to pre-order the sequel.
Legal Asylum is a hilarious send-up of modern legal education written in Monte Python style. Goldstein lambasts some tempting targets such as the numerous gimmicks that deans must indulge in to game the annual US News law school survey. One such gimmick is to enhance the school's reputation by hiring faculty who know or care nothing about law or legal practice. These faculty members (referred to in the book as "poets" and "quants") specialize in esoteric subjects that yield lots of useless publications but benefit nobody except their authors. Another target is the largely useless (but hugely time consuming) accreditation visits that all law schools must endure. One faculty member specializes in study of the "Bluebook" (the absurdly detailed guide to law review citations) while another writes about the penis size of Supreme Court justices (you see the Monte Python influence here). Along the way, we visit the world of for-profit Chinese law schools, horny deans, scheming staff members, alumni fund raising, wildly excessive building construction, ridiculous teaching styles (such as studying beehives in civil procedure) and on and on. Very entertaining and highly recommended for readers who teach in US law schools or who currently attend one, might attend one in the future, or have attended one in the past.
This novel is a somewhat rollicking satire of how law schools try to secure a high place in the famous (or infamous) yearly rankings published by U.S. News. Despite mountains of criticism heaped on the rankings by law faculties and administrations, every year the release of these rankings is treated as being equivalent to Moses returning from the Mount with his stone tablets. The plot here involves an off-balanced dean at a state law school determined to manipulate the U.S. News criteria (published on the internet) so that her school will make it into the holy "top five" rankings. She is quite inventive and prepared to do about anything to add to her school's chances.

The author, a novelist and professor at Stanford Law School, obviously knows of what he writes her. Anyone who has gone to law school or even thought about it will find the book hilarious--I have seldom had so many belly laughs in reading a book. However, like most good satires, the author is using humor to convey important messages about law schools, their curriculum, and what benefits students, as well as taking some funny potshots at the U.S. News ranking process. As it happens, the ABA is also conducting an accreditation review at the school, so the author can let fly with a few arrows at that process as well.

Among the important issues raised in the novel is the question of what should be taught at law schools. Judge Richard Posner has been quite critical of the books published and courses offered in legal education for being too divergent from the real practice of law. In this book, the faculty is divided into three categories "poets" who focus on philosophical and literary topics; "quants" who are embedded in quantitative analysis; and "bog dwellers" who are unimaginative and teach the basic courses in torts, contracts, con law, etc. These categories are not far fetched, believe me.

A continuing major issue is how can law schools realistically be compared? Does it involve comparing LSAT scores, numbers of books, post-graduation job success, faculty resources, bar passage rates, or what? The ABA professional criteria share somewhat the same problem, but the author points out that its criteria do not much overlap with the U.S. News version, which tells you something. Equally important, how valid is any comparison given the extensive experience of the schools in manipulating the criteria through various inappropriate techniques, such as bribing students to elect their schools to improve their ranking scores?

However, I don't mean to suggest that this isn't just a great satiric novel, full of fun and vinegar. The reader will never view the U.S. News rankings the same way after reading this book. My only complaint is that the author enjoys his humor too much, and carries on a bit longer than is necessary (the book runs 284 pages). This is one of those rare books you can really enjoy--and learn something at the same time. Well done, Professor!
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